Agonizing pain...

I need to ween myself off of pain killers. I don't like being out of my mind, and let me tell you, it has been an adventure these past couple of days. Restlessness doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. The animals think it's cool I'm home, because I am here to pet them and talk to them about everything. Daytime TV sucks majorly, all of my books have been read twice, and my focus isn't strong enough to actually sit in front of a video game. ...Oh and the damn dvds I ordered from ebay still have yet to get here and entertain me! GRAH! Thankfully I still have my imagination and in between bouts of spacing out, I've thought up some good ideas. So I guess it's not all lost. Everything seems so...I dunno ephemeral, right now and I can't bear to think of reality. Reality equals all the bills I have and work and school and bills at school my mom's bills and well the whole weight of the world on my shoulders. This could all be due to the painkillers I have to take, but who knows. It'll all work out and I just need to remember that and cling to it...what was I saying? I feel so sleepy and I think maybe I'll pass out again and hope for this all to be over with and soon. My stomach is pretty bruised. My belly button looks the worst, and I would post pictures but even I think it's too much. ...Actually I can't get anyone to hold the camera for me, lol. It's like I can feel where my gall bladder once was. My insides feel bruised and sore. I wish I could have had my gall stones, but apparently due to tissue diseases they have to destroy the things that come out of your body. For now, I guess I could use the rest for the intensity that will be the store when I return and so that my organs don't hurt so much. And later, I will read these past posts and laugh at myself, then promptly delete them to retain what little of my dignity I will have left. G'night guys.