Kendora and the Mall of Doom

Working in a mall can sometimes be hell. You get crazy customers, weird customers, overly nice customers, customers who steal when they think you're not looking, and so on and so forth. I actually prefer to be away from the registers when my store is crowded because people become more tedious and asinine than they regularly are during the holiday season. They want these 50 things on one gift receipt and the other 50 on two separate ones and you try to explain that your register is so old it can only give out one gift receipt for all of the items or one for every individual item, which then warrants their input on how silly and stupid you are because you don't update your systems. I love the people who have lots of stuff and need individual gift receipts, because we have to hit the button before we scan every item and then the customer gets a freaking novel at the end of their transaction. I also enjoy the ones who bring up like 3 baskets overflowing with merchandise and decide to go through every item with you only to end up buying two clearance t-shirts. I have to wonder how some of us managed to breed. It's funny though because I don't think I'm a people person but I can comfortably say that some people actually enjoy my eccentricness and I enjoy disturbing most of them. For example, one lady insisted on telling me all about everyone she was shopping for and how old they were and blah blah blah. All I did was ask how she was doing. I really enjoy being on the sales floor talking to people, it's fun. But it does suck when I can't build a rapport with people first and then ease into trying to sell them stuff. I wonder if companies realize that by attacking someone when they first enter the store, is not a good way to build business. It annoys the person and they're going to keep the hell away from you and continue to ignore you when you talk to them. If you act aloof and as if you're there sort of hanging out (still acknowledging them), they are more apt to talk to you and let you ask them open ended questions. ...I need to get into marketing or something, hahahaha. In my 8+ years of retail so far, I have noticed that being a human as opposed to a corporate robot, you tend to get people to buy more from you. The masses like nice people, right? I'm obviously nowhere near getting my sanity back because I actually say things like "well we can't sell it if it's not on the floor!" I always swore I'd never become like that...am I becoming an adult? No way, I mean I still think about zombies and am currently thinking about adding survival tips for mall employees in case zombies attack here in my blog. Let's face it, when it happens we're all screwed and not all of us will have read Max Brooks "Zombie Survival Guide." Therefore, I shall help educate the procrastinators in the art of survival. Since one of the better zombie movies takes place in a mall, and yours truly just so happens to work in one, I will go over with you guys on how to fortify your mall. There are some things I think Mr. Brooks had right, but most of the American nation is full of consumer procrastinators. In other words, most people will already be out shopping when we have Zombie outbreaks. But I will save all that for next time. For now, I need to be regaining health because I will be venturing back out to go back to work. I need all the hours I can get. See? Life is just like a videogame! You work for money and experience to help level you up and occasionally need to regain health. W0o+ for money! Later guys!