Kendora lives!!!!!!

So, it's been awhile. How is everyone? Me? I'm exhausted and stretched thin as always. I wonder if anyone ever stumbles across this blog and actually reads what I have to say. I don't really care, it's a good outlet to get things off my chest or to randomly spout nonsense into the open plains of the Internet. My book is now under consideration with the agent I sent it to. I finished the second one to go in the series and I'm starting a third one. I've got three to four papers due soon, a speech, two tests and two take home tests. Words and punctuation are the sea that is beginning to pull me under and I wonder if I should drown amongst the diction and prose or if I should stay afloat and master the monsters swimming beneath. Slowly but surely I feel as if I'll snap at any moment and wreak havoc upon the inanimate objects surrounding me. It's like I'm a caged beast or something... Even though I'm stressed out and tired, I can still accurately observe the people around me. Stupidity is the only thing that even the blind can see.
The girls, my ferrets Alice and Eva are doing good. Grover, the dachshund my mom and sister got is starting to be cool. I miss Copper terribly though. I took the girls to school because I gave a speech of fact about ferrets. They're so cute and I think that really helped my grade. It was fun carrying them around with me, but I swear some people are so ignorant. I lost count of all the stupid people that shouted, "Omigod, she's got rats!" or "Omigod are those rats?" NO. Ferrets are not even in the rodent family, they're in the weasel family. My girls are clean and playful and full of energy, not to say that rodents aren't. I can't wait until I get my own place to give them their own room. ...If that ever works out for me, =).
Not much is really going on right now in my life except for the above stuff I've mentioned. Tonight I'm going to see the midnight opening of Twilight. I'm not too excited about to be honest. I have nothing against Stephanie Meyer, but the books and movie just don't sound or look that interesting to me. But hey, she's making money, not me. I just hope my books become as famous if not more. Then I can have people hate that I'm so mega awesome, lol. I guess I just hate that vampires always get so much preferential treatment. Zombies, werewolves and the other monsters in folklore and mythology need some lovin' too. That's why I gave them love and props in my book. So hah! Man, I need some rest. I have to go to work tonight and then straight from work I'm going to see Twilight. Let's hope I don't fall asleep. Later guys!

Louisville, KT

So, went to see Indina Menzel at the Kentucky Center for the Arts...I think, I always get our theatres mixed up, but anyways I was looking at her t-shirts since she's touring. Yea, tell me why they had Kentucky abbreviated as KT? Ohio was OD. I suppose they don't have a spell check on the machine they printed those things off of. It was sort of funny, because people are always making fun of my fellow Kentuckians. Guess what folks, we're not morons. Even Indina Menzel made a comment on us because she supports Barack Obama and everyone in the theater did too and she said "wow, you're surprising me Kentucky!" Geez people, give us some freaking credit here. I can't wait to become a super awesome writer so that I can own the whole of America and make them realize that people here are the most awesomest people EVER. Yea. Moving along, I am slated to graduate next fall in 2009. Woot! Exciting yea? I'm starting to get a little nervous about graduating because what am I going to do when it's all over? I really honestly can't see myself in yuppie attire going to a caged in cubicle everyday. I refuse to. It's as if I'm being backed into a corner and my future is feeling so uncertain. I just keep hoping that by some stroke of luck, that agent will be all like, "OMG! Bestest book evah! Let's get it published now!" ...He's had it since July and I feel like maybe it's not going to happen but who knows? In a couple of weeks I'm going to ask one last time if he can tell me where it is in the process of being reviewed. I just feel like it's not going to happen and this waiting is killing me, ya know? I'd rather be told "sorry we can't do anything with this" instead of pretending to not to care. I'm not trying to be a bitch, I'm just frustrated and stressed out with life and feeling like I'm lacking control of everything around me. Shannon liked my second book, and I figure if the people who read it are liking it, then isn't that a good sign? Okay, I need to get my mind off of things and play some video games. Later!!!

People people people...

Man alive. I just finished reading some posts on one of frequented message boards, and I realize that I'm not the only one who says stuff and then people leap all over it and distort it and argue it when what I said was merely meant to be an observation. Sometimes, the stupidity of the human mind can amaze me. Are we naturally defensive creatures? From my short time on earth, it is my observation that humans can be very selfish in nature. I think that the defensive thing stems from the selfish nature of some humans that don't have it conditioned out of them. For instance, using myself as an example, I am a firm believer in Altruism. I believe people should do good things without thought of reward because it's the right thing to do. Therefore, when I see an injustice, I go to correct it as best I can. Some people may make a half-assed attempt at rectifying the injustice while others go right on by not even thinking "oh that sucks for them." Now that being said, if person A told person B who went right on by that it was wrong to leave that person lying on the floor writhing in pain a jackass- then person B would throw a fit and say how they were being picked on unjustifiably and make some irrelevant rant as to how person A is immature. Person B is the same person who is so selfish that not only do they not care about others, but they get defensive when their actions are mentioned or observed. Person B makes zombies look tolerable. At least a zombie knows that they want to eat the flesh off a human and they don't fight the fact that we uninfected need to kill them. No, they just try to eat our flesh as well. ...Which in a weird sense it could be argued that they are like person B, attacking us because they think we're attacking them. *Sigh* I've come to realize that this world wouldn't become any better even if there were zombies crawling 'round trying to suck the brains out of our contorted living bodies. Or are the human masses just really zombies in a living state? Brainless- they wear what they are told is fashionable, eat what they are told is appealing, and listen to music that is played over and over again with annoying hooks. There are varying levels of zombienism, at least I believe so anyway. We have the office yuppie zombie, the redneck zombie, even school zombies. I figure it's only legal to attack the undead kind of zombie though, so I guess I'm waiting until the apocalypse when I can unleash years of repressed rage at the stupidity and cruelness of people upon the undead masses. I need to go play some video games, I done got myself worked up. Keep your eyes out for zombies. They're your neighbors, cousins, boyfriends and girlfriends... Maybe even I'm a zombie...Naw that's impossible. I'm too awesome to be a zombie. Today's moral lesson? Be nicer to your fellow man and if you see a zombie chomping down on someone, save 'em and take the zombie out, then head on to work or where ever your feet may take you. Later guys!

My silly little girls

So I was wondering why the girl's cage smelt so freaking funny and I found out why when I decided today would be a good day to give their cage that overall cleaning that I need to do every week instead of every other week. ...They've been using the igloo as a bathroom. I was so disgusted, but it's all clean now. I gave them baths and they're clean now. I also took the igloo out and put another litter box in their cage. They now have two and Eva got a little pissy so she flung litter all over the bottom of the cage. The funny thing is, when I went to get all their bedding and fun tunnels out of the bottom, I find all this food. They had been hoarding food. I think it's for winter, of course ferrets are known for hoarding things. Moving along, school sucks ass. I hate everyone (except for the cool people that don't piss me off) in one of my classes. I got the gall (funny since I don't have one anymore, lol) to send an e-mail to them all because they're always so rude to the professor. Yea, I probably could have done what I did in a better manner, but I stick by what I said and luckily of the 6 people that sent me responses (which I didn't read because I knew they were negative), I got 6 other people that were all like "I agree with you and got your back." So it worked out. Thankfully, I think it's going to blow over and hopefully they'll forget what I said but change their behaviour in class. Bleh, I'm just rambling away, sorry. Friday, I got a midterm and today I went to a JET presentation. I think I really want to do it. My butt is going to Japan. Especially if they pay me to go and then pay me to teach and be the awesome person I am, lol. Okay I really am just trying to think of things to say so I'm gonna get crackin' on some paperwork for school and this second job I want. Good night guys!

...bring the fire...

I'm trying my best to be inspired. To be motivated. To do something that will benefit me. To do something that will make me happy and ease the gnawing hunger of desire to do something productive. My mind is swimming with electricity and I wonder when it'll pay off, when thinking so much will produce something wonderful. I sat in a club meeting today and thought, "Why not start my own club?" I won't because I'm too lazy. Or is it because I'm afraid of failure? With a little force, I made myself sit down and sketch out the rest of my t-shirt design for the Japanese club on campus. Will they like? Who knows. Will they use it? Probably not because I'm not as an amazing artist as everyone tells me. Everyone always tells me something that I seriously doubt...but they wouldn't go out of their way to say something nice so maybe there's something there. Some fuel to bring the fire of the muses into my mind to do something creative. To do something to make everyone glance twice. Can I do it? I don't have any delusions of grandeur, for I know that I'm not someone amazingly brilliant. My IQ is 195, doesn't matter because what's that supposed to prove to anyone? I scored high on an aptitude test for the government, am I going to become an agent of a capitalist government who'd rather jump ship than save the other passengers? No, but I'm not intelligent enough to gather a group or lead a group of people to make changes. I don't want to be great, but I want to do something beneficial to me and my future generations to come. It's scary to think about the things that I could do, but neglect to do. Should I try harder to stoke the fire of revolution within myself? Can I change for the better? I want this don't I? Hell yeah. I want to be someone that others recognize more than anything. I don't have to be great, but I want that acknowledgment. I don't know how, but I will do something that others will see. ...I just hope that when that fire burns, the fuel won't run out. The fire will passionately consume me and urge me forth into an unknown future. Others have great expectations of me, should I have them as well? Fine, I'll bring the fire to ignite my soul into action and come alive instead of just living everyday day to day. I'll use it to live instead of just existing and drifting along lifelessly in this cesspool of life. It's going to happen, I just need to work harder...who knows, maybe I will. Torch in hand, here I go.

meh...

It's really cool to think, here I am sitting with my wireless laptop in class, looking cool like everyone else... Awesome. Of course the laptop adds 10lbs to the already 30lbs I've got strapped to my back in addition to my own weight. So, that all equals to Kendora being tired. I finally got the nerve to e-mail the agent guy and he was like 'oh it's still under review' which I suppose could be a good thing if I stop and look at it. Work's been hectic lately and it's not even Christmas time! We had these stupid $25 coupons and it was pretty much a fail at life and sales. People don't seem to understand that coupons- ALL OF THEM, have restrictions and valid dates that they are usable for. But thank goodness I have fun people to work with, or I'd lose my mind...more so than I already have. I've been bogged down with school work this semester and I'm amazed at this sudden ability I have to balance work and school work together. There's actually a take home test I should be working on, but I decided to look uber cool and write in my blog. Maybe I'll go to a Starbucks and look even cooler. You know, because I am a writer and I need to do what all other college student writers do and go to Starbucks so that EVERYONE can see me writing, lol. Actually, I came up with a pretty good idea for a short story that I need to write and enter into a contest. Meh...maybe I will, maybe I won't. I think it's something that hasn't been done before. I need to go ahead and help Steph study for Japanese. I am the Japanese assistant after all...along with like three other people. But I digress...It's time for Modern China and I need to help Steph secretly study for Japanese later. So, I'll talk to you guys later!!

gimme some cookies and milk...

Rough rough month this time around guys. I need some cookies and milk to relax and make it all better. First my wonderful furry son, Copper passed away from something that is still unknown and may never be known. I haven't heard from the agent about my book (not surprised but everyone else is depressed about it and bringing me down), school's rough...just tons of crap. At least I got to be in my own little world tonight at work. I had to hard-mark (ticket price things with a tagging gun) and I just let my mind wander while I went on auto-pilot. My ferrets are doing good, and Eva... You'd never know she was sickly and scrawny as a baby. She's energetic, frolicks with her big sister Alice and gives kisses! Still a little on the skinny side though. Alice is my chunky one who just hangs out. They cuddle and groom each other and scurrying about playing with each other. It warms my heart and it makes the pain of Copper missing go away just a bit. They need me and I need them. Mom and Becca got a new dog. He's the silliest thing. A dachshund, but not a normal red one or black one. His type is known as a piebald, which means he looks like a beagle or basset hound. In other words, he has spots. Look it up! We named him Grover, but I honestly didn't think it's a good time to get a new puppy. It's not fair to Copper's memory or the new puppy, but very slowly I am coming to liking him. I mean, he's going to have it rough having to live up to the awesomeness of Copper. Weeeeell, I need to get some rest for the day ahead of me tomorrow. G'night guys!!